After a little over a year in business, I finally unpacked my office.
Beyond the easy excuses of a recent move, new baby, family loss, and the general craziness of launching a new business and life as a working parent, I have to admit there was a deeper reason to why the boxes stayed shut and the office felt like a constant state of chaos.
The reason was because I wasn’t ready and honestly, I wasn’t sure if the great experiment of launching Radical Spark Coaching was going to work. Radical Spark Coaching developed over two years ago as a seed of an idea that felt like a spark of hope for me as I embraced my strengths and dreamed to shift my career path. The seed began to grow and blossom as I returned from maternity leave and gave myself permission to advocate for my strengths, passions, and release myself from the golden handcuffs of a dependable and perfectly lovely job. It wasn’t easy and I had many moments of doubt. I did not blindly jump into the land of entrepreneurship and growing a coaching practice without testing the waters a bit. Funny enough, whenever I mentioned the dream of fully focusing on Radical Spark to friends and folks in my network they were always positive and seemed like a natural next step for me. It was me that doubted, worried, and frankly was scared to embrace the leap. I was more prepared for it to fail than I was prepared for it to thrive.
In all fairness, I also must call out the fact that I have a history of both being a road warrior and possess the ability to find focus and work in a variety of settings. Airplanes, airports, coffee shops; you name it and I probably typed an email there. However, my tolerance of a haphazard office was me not wanting to deal with physical and emotional stuff. I worked easily with papers, folders, boxes, random trinkets, and cords all around me like my chaos enmeshed armor keeping others out and me nestled in safely in my controlled mess of emotions. My sweet husband would peak his head in my office and just shake his head at the little fort of a workspace that I created for myself. He avoided coming into my office because it made him anxious. The craziness of my office was the physical manifestation of so many emotions of cautious optimism and a fear of failure. Unpacking the boxes felt like setting myself up for disappointment. I hung a few things on my wall and had a small walking space from the door to my office chair but beyond that, it was pretty barren and more like a construction zone. It stayed this way for over a year and it began to feel like another thing on the list of things that I needed to do but could easily de-prioritize.
But that changed last week when I finally gave myself permission to embrace the abundance and unpack those dang boxes. The great experiment of quitting my dependable and lovely full time job and building a business to support women leaders, leaders of color, working parents, and career explorers not only worked but was thriving. The yearlong “try and see if it works” mentality was over. The little seed that Radical Spark Coaching started from was growing and blooming into a garden where I could tangibly see and feel the power of our clients igniting the power of possibilities for themselves. So I did it, I unpacked the boxes, threw away the unnecessary items that tethered me to past roles, organized my folders and papers, and now have a beautiful open and welcoming office. The great experiment worked and the radical spark is now a roaring fire.